| WOO HOO! |
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| 06:37pm 21/04/2005 |
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mood:  ecstatic music: Nothing
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Tomorrow I get to go audition for a music video, the job actually pays, and I get to get out of school early to go to the audition. I am so excited. And get this mum said, and I quote to you verbatim, "We'll always take you to things that are paying by hook or by crook we'll figure it out, maybe even things that don't pay." |
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4 cadavars !x! BANG!BANG! |
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| Wow |
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| 11:23am 21/04/2005 |
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mood:  sick music: "Distorted Angel" Elvis Costello and the Attractions
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I haven't made areal update in forever, but I will now. I am so fucking tired of school. I have done so much make up work and extra credit it's not even funny and I'm still failing my world history class. I'm about to just say the hell with it not do anything in there the rest of this year and take it again next year. I haven't decided for sure yet.
The play is going fairly well. We have rehersal today but I'm not going to be there because I just recently came home sick. I'm puking my guts up and I want to just roll over and die.
Yesterday we had a half day at school and no rehersal so me and Mia went over to Katie's house and helped her plant her herb garden. We ended up staying and eating there for dinner too and I got to talk to Ms. Combos again. She helped me decided what classes to take next year and I feel pretty confident I know what I want to do next year.
Hmmm....other than that nothing has really been going on. I'm about to change the layout on my journal and over haul my interests list and my friends list since I don't have anything better to do. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| 11:31pm 16/04/2005 |
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mood:  bored music: crap on TV
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| You scored as Violent. You are violent. To you there is nothing better than a good spank. You like scratching and biting 'cause that's what people are for.
Violent | | 100% | Sweet | | 75% | Hot | | 75% | Wet | | 63% | Exciting | | 63% | Awkward | | 56% | Soft | | 25% | Shy | | 19% | </td>
What is your sexual style?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| To Do |
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| 04:36pm 07/04/2005 |
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mood: bored
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Finish working on that skirt
Finish working on that loli cigarette case
Get my nails done
Read the driver's manual
Go get my permit
Knuckle down and do better in school
Find all those things I've lost
Get together with Chloe
Get together with Katie from school and go shopping or something some weekend |
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3 cadavars !x! BANG!BANG! |
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| "Is that a live turtle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" |
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| 04:08pm 07/04/2005 |
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mood: bored
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"Is that a live turtle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"
Ignore that....I just had to immortalize that quote on the internet.
Now to the main point of my entry (yeah right like I really have a point.) You have no fucking right to call me cliche or typical you mother fucking meth head. You have no idea what I deal with on a day to day basis or what goes on in my head and frankly you couldn't handle it. Also incase you didn't notice that I noticed you looking up my skirt all of last period I did. I'm not offended, and I'm definately not flattered all I have to say for you is you need a life. And by the way those fake ear plugs look hilariously stupid. They make you look like a poser emo kid or something. |
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2 cadavars !x! BANG!BANG! |
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| I am so ugly |
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| 10:12pm 04/04/2005 |
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mood:  sad music: Patti Smith
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I feel so unpretty it's enough to make me want to cry. But I can't do that because I don't cry. I'm strong and I have all the answers and I don't need anyone or anything and I can take care of mself. So I'll just have to suck it up and take it and try to just go on on my own. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| blah |
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| 08:32pm 04/04/2005 |
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mood:  blah music: Patti Smith
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I ate way too much today and now I am so angry with myself. I will not eat anymore until I can see my ribs I swear to God and myself and everything else there is to swear on. Also I've lost my notebook and I have a bunch of shit I'm not doing well enough with or just not doing at all and I really need to stop being such a pathetic fucking slug and do things. And starting now I will. I mean really right now. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS! |
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| 10:38pm 02/04/2005 |
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mood:  awake
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From here on out for an indefinate period of time my journal, and my life, will be closed for renovations. I won't be doing much updating. But when I'm ready I'll come back. I promise. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| To do |
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| 08:12pm 31/03/2005 |
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mood:  tired
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To do list-
Pluck eyebrows
Get my nails done
Clean room
Homework and make up work
oh fuck it there's too much to list. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| 09:53pm 27/03/2005 |
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mood:  confused music: nothing
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I am tired of trying so very hard to be perfect. It's not working out. I am really just kind of tired of everything. I want to just.......fuck it I don't know what I want. I just need to get things straight. Life is good, I know that, there's no reason to be unhappy, I know that. I'm just bored and confused. That's all there is to it. I'm just a bored, confused, lost, horny, crazy, fucked up teenage girl.
Wow. Realizing these kinds of things is always so helpful. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| 09:34pm 22/03/2005 |
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mood: bored music: Watching Airline on TV
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You Are 80% Femme and 20% Butch!
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80 - 100% Femme - You're the girly girl of the century. Or Clay Aiken.
60 - 79% Femme - Girl? Almost certainly. If not, you've got some major man boobs going on.
40 - 59% Femme - Girl or guy? Even your best friends can't figure this one out.
20 - 39% Femme - You are likely male, or the toughest, scariest lesbian around.
0 - 19% Femme - You are 100% male. You make cowboys look like pussies.
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How Butch or Femme Are You?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
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BANG!BANG! |
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| 02:59pm 22/03/2005 |
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mood: bored music: "Strawberry Gashes" Jack Off Jill
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I still haven't made a real update. How suprising. Right now I'm on spring break so there is utterly nothing to update about however I will update once anything interesting happens. Or anything at all happens for that matter. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| 08:20pm 18/03/2005 |
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mood: bored music: The Scooby Movie on T.V.
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I realize I haven't updated in forever. A real update will come soon enough but right now......
People and groups I could do without-
Preston
George W. Bush
George H. W. Bush
Pat Robertson and his little collection
The KKK
Neo Nazis
Skin Heads
Terrorists
Preppies
Anyone who wears golf pants
Anyone who belongs to a country club
Elora
Rednecks
Anyone with a God Bless America or Support Our Troops Bumper sticker
Anyone with a Man + Woman = Marriage bumper sticker
Anyone who spends more than an hour a day looking at porn
Everyone involved in the making of the new "starwars" movies
People who talk on their cell phones while driving
People who talk on their cell phones loudly in public
Micheal Eisner
Russle Crowe
John Ashcroft
Actors who think they can sing
Singers who think they can act
Child Abusers
People who are mean to old people
Micheal Jackson
Anyone who's just a real asshole
Anyone trying to convert me
Anyone who watches TV more than half the day
Martha Stewart
Everyone involved with fucking Old Navy commercials
......... |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| *cue old B&W movie score and maniacal laughter* |
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| 04:54pm 08/03/2005 |
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mood:  jubilant
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There is a God!!!!! I found out today that by virtue of sheer fate and divine right I get to lord over Preston with an iron fist (a spikey iron fist mind you!) for the next several months. Life is goo. No life is more than good. Life is amazing. In the immortal words of Katie's LJ icon "Dance my little puppetts dance!!!!!!" They're right about power corrupting and absolute power corrupting absolutely, as well as being kind of cool. Maybe they're also right about power being the ultimate aphrodisiac. we'll have to wait and see. As long as it doesn't smeel quite so strong as cheap aftershave. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| 06:23pm 07/03/2005 |
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mood: lonely
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I'm in a bad spot. I'm totally hopelessly in love with him and it's killing me. He's starting to matter more than Katie Baby, that scares me to death. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to hide in bed for the next few years, or kill him, or something. At least I haven't gotten so pathetic I'm crying about it. I refuse to let myself do that. I won't cry I won't I won't I won't. but god I just wish it would all go away. I am so fucking fucking stupid for this I am so incredibly dumb I am so very very very very very very all time top five list kind of idiotic for this, I rival even the president. I am so dumb. Why won't I ever learn. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| blah |
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| 07:45pm 06/03/2005 |
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mood: depressed
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Well then. It's Sunday. I need to clean my room but I have no motivation to do it. I also need to do my reports for ecology and for history both of which are already over due but I don't want to. I need to read the mother fucking driving handbook but I don't feel like it. I also need to call Emily but I don;t want to. I hate being so under motivated and so lazy. Being apathetic is really an awful thing for me to do but I couldn't care less. So until I get any of my energy or desire or interest back I'm going back to bed and reading. I feel so.......blah. Nothing is worth doing and I don't care. Well whatever. Yeah.
Hey Katie Baby, when and if you read this call me! |
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2 cadavars !x! BANG!BANG! |
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| I'm so emo it's disgusting |
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| 04:10pm 01/03/2005 |
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mood: depressed music: something by Taking Back Sunday
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I'm listening to my Taking Back Sunday records and I feels things again. I feel like crying, and it's a good thing. I miss Katie badly. I miss her because when she was around mum, Jen, Kate, Preston, Walter, Alex, Elora, none of them mattered. And if she was here again they wouldn't matter anymore. I want to call her again very very very very very very badly but I don't know if we can take the phone bill that's going to cause. Althought it is March first and so it would be an entirely differect phone bill that it would go on. I think I will call her. I hope to God she's home. I want her to make me smile. And now we go to weather....
It was a snow day today, not for Williamson County, but for Middle College High School. I haven't seen any snow, I haven't even seen any rain or anything. I think Mr. Ford is on crack, which wouldn't make him that much different than the rest of our school. I'm not complaining. That gives me tonight if I decdie to do my world history and ecology reports, but what are the odds that that's going to happen?
I'm going ot go listen to The New Pornographers or The Barenaked Ladies and put in a long distance call to My Katie Baby. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| Procrastinating sucks.. |
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| 09:57pm 27/02/2005 |
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mood: bored music: "The Year 2000" The Phenomenauts
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I didn't go see the play. I didn't go to church. I didn't do my ecology report that's already late. I didn't clean my room. I didn't do my history report. I didn't do anything at all today. Oh well. At least I plucked my eyebrows. At least I don't look hideous anymore. I'm going to go do something before I go to bed. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| 11:48pm 26/02/2005 |
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mood: depressed
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I'm not going to see Anna in Funny Girl tomorrow. I feel really bad about it but I just don't want to leave the house. I want to spend all of tomorrow alone in bed. Then I'll get up at night and take a shower and pluck my eyebrows and do all the things that need to be done. Fuck the ecology project, just fuck it. Fuck the history project too. I don't care. I don't have enough energy left to care about those things. I care too much about everything else. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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| oh god no. This can't happen |
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| 08:49pm 26/02/2005 |
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mood: confused
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Why the hell am I posessed with this sudden all consuming urge to listen to shitty emo music like Taking Back Sunday and Jimmy Eat World, and oh god no, fucking Bright Eyes? Why the hell so I want to wear my red shoes and dance to Elvis Costello and the Attractions records? Why do I want to tell Katie I love her more than anything? Why do I want to smoke cigarettes and hang around with Preston? Why do I feel like maybe I don't want to try so hard at saving face anymore? Why so I feel like I don't care how unperfect or unpretty or unloveable I am? Why do I want to buy expensive jeans and trashy shirts? Why do I want to wear my tacky plastic star ear rings Kate gave me? Why do I want to just break out and cut loose and say to hell with it? Could it be I'm really starting to be myself again, and not this angry crazy aggressive defensive nervous closed off dead sort of thing I was? If so I hope to god I come to my senses. Someone help me. |
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BANG!BANG! |
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exploding_bra's journal